I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
vagina is talking i cant
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize