I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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