What a fucking waste of an outfit
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
