Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
