Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
