In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize