the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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