Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
