I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
