sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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