He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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