what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My balls are so social today.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I licked your asshole in confidence.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
