They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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