i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
