i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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