yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
do herpes really smell.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
