I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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