Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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