i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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