You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
