Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
