If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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