She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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