I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
