I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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