She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
