he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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