You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize