no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
