anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
