When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize