Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
