We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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