Someone shit on the floor
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
