Can Purell be used as lube?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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