Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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