One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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