I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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