Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
