Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
