My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
