so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
