Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
