trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize