that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
