she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
