Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
