seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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