How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize