i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
