the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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