VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
