You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
