i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I need a beard to bite.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
