We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
