3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Randomize
