I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
