Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
