Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
