I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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