tell your sister to shave her snatch
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
