this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
