shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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