soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize