Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
