Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
